That’s One Way to Get ‘er Down


For years, reporters in the WHAM 1180 radio newsroom in Rochester, New York, documented the wackiest emergency calls overheard on the police scanner:

For the person who cut down the tree to get the cat out.”

DISPATCHER: “Her name’s Peanut. She’s been doing a little prostitution.” COP: “So someone’s going over to Lyell to look for Peanut?”

Respond for two black males selling deodorant in the parking lot.”

There’s a man standing in the driveway with his pants down around his ankles, talking to himself.”

DISPATCHER: “Report for a guy who smells and unknown odor in his apartment and he says the maintenance people are trying to poison him, but they only do it at night. Also, he says he is deteriorating from the chemicals they have been giving him. The chemicals that poison him are in the toilet.” COP: “Cuckoo.”

Possible suspect – black man with a red bandana on a yellow bicycle… no, that’s not him. He’s eating ice cream.”

There’s a male patient threatening to choke himself with a phone cord.”

Naked white man sneaking around the house; just jumped into the bushes.”

A 55-year-old yelling at himself.”

I’m cold, and now I’m dirty. Would you like to have lunch with me?”

I want my two dollars. I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!”

The woman is having difficulty breathing and choking.”

Call for a vicious beagle in the backyard.”

Says she is being evicted because she is a man becoming a woman.”

Guy has a street name of “Big Baby.”


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