“Arguments over who drank the last beer.”

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For years, reporters in the WHAM 1180 radio newsroom in Rochester, New York, documented the wackiest emergency calls overheard on the police scanner:


Arguments over who drank the last beer.”

Report of a man slumped over in a car. Slumped over but standing. Chewing on a straw.”

He put items into his pants.”

Three people passed the phone, they all said, ‘Hello,” then hung up on us.”

The suspect has some sort of tail, or hair on his back.”

The neighbor brat is harassing.”

His wife wouldn’t say why she’s doing it, but she’s tearing herself up in the store.”

The man’s got a book and a cane. He’s with a prostitute and they’re having sex.”

She asked the complainant for a few dollars. She’s not wearing any pants.”

Yeh, he’s flappin’ his yap as usual.”

Outside naked, asking for a beer and a cigarette.”

On a bicycle, pushing a lawn mower.”

Male rambling, talking to an officer, something about jail.”

Totally naked in a red sports car.”

Animals on her window. Thinks they’re raccoons because their eyes are glowing. Neighbor saw it, too.”

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What’s That I (Don’t) Smell?

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For years, reporters in the WHAM 1180 radio newsroom in Rochester, New York, documented the wackiest emergency calls overheard on the police scanner:


Emitting some kind of odorless odor.”

Two dogs are in the house. Yup, that’s what it says. I don’t know if they rung the bell.”

Family trouble. The in-laws pulled knives on them.”

Bite me.”

Inhaled foot powder and now he’s unresponsive.”

Complainant took off on foot. Name is Sweet Pea.”

Tried to rob the store with a rock.”

Woman with a beard sitting in the middle of the road not responding to car horns.”

Tried to throw Mom out the window.”

Standing on a corner wearing a brown winter jacket, asking people for money.”

We are investigating a guy jumping into a moving car window.”

Jumping in front of cars, walking in circles in the parking lot.”

I’m at Emerson and Dewey with a naked female.”

He’s a 61-year-old male known as Kurt the Troll.”

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“Report of food on the stove.”

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For years, reporters in the WHAM 1180 radio newsroom in Rochester, New York, documented the wackiest emergency calls overheard on the police scanner:


Report of food on the stove.”

Regarding stolen car, the pastor was driving around, said the Lord told him to take a right. Sure enough, there it was.”

COP: “My computer won’t let me code this out.” DISPATCHER: “No problem. You fight crime, I’ll type.”

Apparently the female keeps bothering him. He wants to hurt her is she won’t stop bothering him.”

Call about some metal shavings behind the Salvation Army. If they turn out to be gold shavings, I’ll take care of the evidence.”

Broad and Fitzhugh for some dancin’ in the street.”

Naked intox telling the complainant… well… unintelligible things.”

530 pounds and she looks like a boy.”

DISPATCHER: “Says he’s drunk and his face is busted.” COP: “10-4 for the busted face intox.”

Call for a vicious dog. She owns the dog, but apparently it’s not letting her into her own basement.”

Got a call saying the person was unconscious and had been vomiting. When I asked if they were breathing, I got a bunch of giggling, so I guess that means yes.”

Report of a bonfire, also known as a recreational fire.”

Person stuck in the bathtub. They’re not answering.”

Females fighting in the snow out front.”

Okay, now we’re cookin’ with oil.”


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Who Thought This Was a Good Idea?

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For years, reporters in the WHAM 1180 radio newsroom in Rochester, New York, documented the wackiest emergency calls overheard on the police scanner:


She’s got her tongue stuck to a utility pole.”

Wash cloth on fire.”

Driving a lawn mower on fire on the expressway.”

Going for a donut run.”

Complainant will point out the man to deputies. Shouldn’t be hard to miss. He’s the one wearing no pants.”

Man had sexual relations for 10 dollars, and the woman stole 300 dollars from him. He wants the money back.”

In the yard yelling, ‘I WANT MY WOMAN BACK!’ on a cell phone.”

The mother is chasing her with a bat.”

Man stopping at a house claiming he’s Little Richard.”

He claims he doesn’t know the woman. She’s the mother of his children.”

He’s a male, white, but dressed up like a female with a blue jean skirt, high heels and carrying a black purse.”

Black male known for taking stuff from people’s yards, now walking around with a lawn mower.”

Call for a woman bleeding from the check. Must be cheek.”

30-year-old male peein’ all over.”

Are dogs allowed at the hospital?”

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That’s One Way to Get ‘er Down

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For years, reporters in the WHAM 1180 radio newsroom in Rochester, New York, documented the wackiest emergency calls overheard on the police scanner:


For the person who cut down the tree to get the cat out.”

DISPATCHER: “Her name’s Peanut. She’s been doing a little prostitution.” COP: “So someone’s going over to Lyell to look for Peanut?”

Respond for two black males selling deodorant in the parking lot.”

There’s a man standing in the driveway with his pants down around his ankles, talking to himself.”

DISPATCHER: “Report for a guy who smells and unknown odor in his apartment and he says the maintenance people are trying to poison him, but they only do it at night. Also, he says he is deteriorating from the chemicals they have been giving him. The chemicals that poison him are in the toilet.” COP: “Cuckoo.”

Possible suspect – black man with a red bandana on a yellow bicycle… no, that’s not him. He’s eating ice cream.”

There’s a male patient threatening to choke himself with a phone cord.”

Naked white man sneaking around the house; just jumped into the bushes.”

A 55-year-old yelling at himself.”

I’m cold, and now I’m dirty. Would you like to have lunch with me?”

I want my two dollars. I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!”

The woman is having difficulty breathing and choking.”

Call for a vicious beagle in the backyard.”

Says she is being evicted because she is a man becoming a woman.”

Guy has a street name of “Big Baby.”

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911, We Have Dirty Dishes in the Sink

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For years, reporters in the WHAM 1180 radio newsroom in Rochester, New York, documented the wackiest emergency calls overheard on the police scanner:


Call for a black kitchen knife that’s in the sink in the kitchen.”

Domestic. People fighting over the last beer.”

Apartment 2 for natural gas odors coming from the bathroom.”

Supposed to be a naked man at the location with just a towel around his head.”

She said she stabbed a woman on Jay Street about an hour ago and she’d like to report it.”

The gun is as long as his arm.”

The neighbor is going to throw a 6-year-old out the window. Possible family trouble there.”

Your patient may’ve gotten up and run down the street.”

He’s on dialysis and has kidney failure… which would make sense for the dialysis.”

The turkey is now hot footin’ it toward the church across from Warren Avenue.”

He looks like Lurch from the Addams Family.”

Same character came into the gas station and stole some beer. The black man in a green jacket will be wielding a 12-pack of Labbatts.”

Our Father in Heaven auto shop.”

Man threatening to shoot up everyone in the place, but he doesn’t have a gun.”

The guy who lives up there has a female name. He recently changed it to Tina, so he’s flipping on both sides.”

K11 Hollenbeck for the voices coming from Oklahoma.”

Male fallen, can’t get up. He’s too heavy to get up. 300 pounds.”

A report for a bicycle that was stolen, dismantled and set on fire.”

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“No Weapons Other Than a Purse.”

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For years, reporters in the WHAM 1180 radio newsroom in Rochester, New York, documented the wackiest emergency calls overheard on the police scanner:


 

Where about you is?”

Left the hospital with an IV in his arm.”

Guy is wearing black pants and has a Marge Simpson-like hairdo.”

Male. Hand stuck in a snow blower.”

Man is telling people he’s going to put a needle in their heart.”

Two people fighting. No weapons other than a purse.”

Report of a van with a refrigerator strapped to the top of it and a male riding in the refrigerator.”

Clerk says customer is stuttering and drooling on himself.”

Arrested for harassment. He threw a full cup of soda on an employee of Taco Bell at the drive-thru window.”

They say they’re gonna whup ‘er.”

People arguing and fighting with darts.”

Sunglasses and a Frank Sinatra-style hat.”

Possibly violent male jumping on the car and smashing it.”

The mother hit the daughter in the head with a makeup bag.”

Man found another man going through his refrigerator.”

Man with black shorts and a white t-shirt over his head, laying cones down to block traffic.”

He apparently has a bead up his nose, partially obstructing.”

She’s hearing dead voices and says those dead voices want to kill her.”

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“Loitering with a Purpose.”

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For years, reporters in the WHAM 1180 radio newsroom in Rochester, New York, documented the wackiest emergency calls overheard on the police scanner:


Man says he needs an ambulance, cuz he’s dying of walking.”

Cop: “I’m looking for a male Korean, about 5’10”, 110 pounds.              Dispatcher: “I know what happened to him. He blew away.”

They recognize him, but he’s not here.”

Woman calling from Toronto thinks she left her iron on. Wants forced entry.”

Loitering with a purpose.”

Has a ruptured dick. Uh… disc!”

624 Scio Stweet…. Uh…. Street.”

The person who stole his phone is trying to sell it back to him.”

Is it enroute (en-rowt) or enroute (en-root)?”

He says he thinks the squirrel is getting impatient.”

He will be the one in a camouflage shirt and underwear on his head.”

Says he shot him with a bow and arrow and he hopes that will deter him.”

You’re not gonna believe this. The guy doin’ crack uptairs – his name is Cornelius McCracken.”

Suicidal female trying to burn herself with an iron.”

In the intersection, there’s a man boxing with himself.”

Kids jumping off a bridge and be advised, some of them are naked.”

Call from a 28-year old female who thinks she has a small camera implanted in her eye.”

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