That’s One Way to Get ‘er Down

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For years, reporters in the WHAM 1180 radio newsroom in Rochester, New York, documented the wackiest emergency calls overheard on the police scanner:


For the person who cut down the tree to get the cat out.”

DISPATCHER: “Her name’s Peanut. She’s been doing a little prostitution.” COP: “So someone’s going over to Lyell to look for Peanut?”

Respond for two black males selling deodorant in the parking lot.”

There’s a man standing in the driveway with his pants down around his ankles, talking to himself.”

DISPATCHER: “Report for a guy who smells and unknown odor in his apartment and he says the maintenance people are trying to poison him, but they only do it at night. Also, he says he is deteriorating from the chemicals they have been giving him. The chemicals that poison him are in the toilet.” COP: “Cuckoo.”

Possible suspect – black man with a red bandana on a yellow bicycle… no, that’s not him. He’s eating ice cream.”

There’s a male patient threatening to choke himself with a phone cord.”

Naked white man sneaking around the house; just jumped into the bushes.”

A 55-year-old yelling at himself.”

I’m cold, and now I’m dirty. Would you like to have lunch with me?”

I want my two dollars. I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!”

The woman is having difficulty breathing and choking.”

Call for a vicious beagle in the backyard.”

Says she is being evicted because she is a man becoming a woman.”

Guy has a street name of “Big Baby.”

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911, We Have Dirty Dishes in the Sink

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For years, reporters in the WHAM 1180 radio newsroom in Rochester, New York, documented the wackiest emergency calls overheard on the police scanner:


Call for a black kitchen knife that’s in the sink in the kitchen.”

Domestic. People fighting over the last beer.”

Apartment 2 for natural gas odors coming from the bathroom.”

Supposed to be a naked man at the location with just a towel around his head.”

She said she stabbed a woman on Jay Street about an hour ago and she’d like to report it.”

The gun is as long as his arm.”

The neighbor is going to throw a 6-year-old out the window. Possible family trouble there.”

Your patient may’ve gotten up and run down the street.”

He’s on dialysis and has kidney failure… which would make sense for the dialysis.”

The turkey is now hot footin’ it toward the church across from Warren Avenue.”

He looks like Lurch from the Addams Family.”

Same character came into the gas station and stole some beer. The black man in a green jacket will be wielding a 12-pack of Labbatts.”

Our Father in Heaven auto shop.”

Man threatening to shoot up everyone in the place, but he doesn’t have a gun.”

The guy who lives up there has a female name. He recently changed it to Tina, so he’s flipping on both sides.”

K11 Hollenbeck for the voices coming from Oklahoma.”

Male fallen, can’t get up. He’s too heavy to get up. 300 pounds.”

A report for a bicycle that was stolen, dismantled and set on fire.”

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“He is having a fox problem – the animal type.”

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For years, reporters in the WHAM 1180 radio newsroom in Rochester, New York, documented the wackiest emergency calls overheard on the police scanner:


Says she doesn’t want anyone stealing her cigarettes and coffee and putting poison in them.”

Naked man knocking on the back door. Says he was robbed.”

Looked like a cab driver fighting with a couple of people. Then he went back in the bar.”

He says he’s watching the kids while their mother is out of town and the kids are upset because they don’t like him.”

Holding a rosary and taking off his clothing.”

He was bit in the face and he wants an apology.” (moments later a cop heard on the scanner in a soft voice “I’m sorry”)

She’s trying to kill herself with a shoelace.”

A sewer rat, the size of a large cat, hanging out on the stove.”

I think we’re looking for a big, hairy guy called ‘Grinch’.”

Since you were a young animal control officer, you’ve really come a long way.”

He says he is having a fox problem – the animal type.”

Woman assaulted by her son, daughter and husband.”

Man broke into her apartment; is now trying to sell her microwave on the street.”

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“No Weapons Other Than a Purse.”

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For years, reporters in the WHAM 1180 radio newsroom in Rochester, New York, documented the wackiest emergency calls overheard on the police scanner:


 

Where about you is?”

Left the hospital with an IV in his arm.”

Guy is wearing black pants and has a Marge Simpson-like hairdo.”

Male. Hand stuck in a snow blower.”

Man is telling people he’s going to put a needle in their heart.”

Two people fighting. No weapons other than a purse.”

Report of a van with a refrigerator strapped to the top of it and a male riding in the refrigerator.”

Clerk says customer is stuttering and drooling on himself.”

Arrested for harassment. He threw a full cup of soda on an employee of Taco Bell at the drive-thru window.”

They say they’re gonna whup ‘er.”

People arguing and fighting with darts.”

Sunglasses and a Frank Sinatra-style hat.”

Possibly violent male jumping on the car and smashing it.”

The mother hit the daughter in the head with a makeup bag.”

Man found another man going through his refrigerator.”

Man with black shorts and a white t-shirt over his head, laying cones down to block traffic.”

He apparently has a bead up his nose, partially obstructing.”

She’s hearing dead voices and says those dead voices want to kill her.”

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